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by

ariana sexton-hughes

we are more
than the size of our frames
we are more
than the numbers behind each of our names
we are more than the double digits on each and every scale
we are more than our starkly startling ability to wail and wail and wail
we are more than our GPAs, SATs, ACTs, or GREs, or MCATs, or LSATs
we are more than the pouts and our temptation to tease
we are more than the biting of lips, ever gnarled behind the glassy glowing of gloss after gloss
we are more than our eyes staring icily beneath three coats mascara and indecisive dabbles of shadow
or the lashes, the tears, dooming the liner, the mascara,
and the cover-up masking the blue of our bags
yes
we are more
we are more than all that
more than the face beneath the powder
more than the strength defining our abs
true
we are more than the hair beneath our scarves
more than the glance behind our shades
more than the tone beneath our tights
more than the tightness of our thighs
more than the pain of our toes screaming loudly inside pumps, our platforms, and worst of all, our pointes
more than the zeroes or double-zeroes defining who we are in our jeans
“breathe”
we scream
yes
we are more
so, so, much more
more than strength we derive from endless restriction
more than the power of our control beyond our control
more than the discipline over all we refuse and refuse and refuse to consume
we more than our capacity to go for hours upon hours
or days upon days
or weeks upon weeks
or months upon months
on nothing but liquids and coffee
and smokes
yes, yes, yes
we are so much more than all that
“true”
we are so much more
than our capacity to starve
we are so much more
than those ever-shrinking numbers shown on every trip to the scale
we are more than all that
we are more than the fighting with parents and family and friends
we are more than the screaming that never, ever ends
we are more than the medications
we need
to stabilize our anxiety
and put us to sleep
we are more than the cutting
we are more than the pain
we are more than the bleeding
we are more than the shame
we are more the wreckage
we are more than “those” thoughts
we are more than the darkness that surrounds all too much
indeed
we are so much more
so much more than this disease
yes, yes, yes, we are, indeed
we are smarter than average
we are stronger than most
we are survivors
creators
dancers
and writers
singers
designers
doctors
and lawyers
painters
and makers
we direct
we draw
we paint
and we teach
we make our world better
through each word we write, speak, sing, or scream
and
together, we strengthen each of us all
together, we endeavor to catch those of us who fall
yes
we are so much more than all that “they” see
and we are so, so much more
when we remember to breathe
and
when we recover
we can be best of all
for when we recover
we can be so much more
for when we recover
we have the energy
to try
the vitality
to thrive
and
the vigor
to fly
yes, yes, yes
we are more than we know
we are more than they see
we are so much more
if
we would
only
believe
we
are
more
© 2012-2013 by ariana sexton-hughes, all rights reserved

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